When the Israelites saw the Egyptian army pursuing them to the edge of the Red Sea, they were understandably anxious. Panicked. They started blaming Moses, moaning about the "what-ifs" and reminiscing about slavery with a rosy glow. Moses uttered these words of comfort and faith above, and God yet again showed himself faithful to his people. Not because they were awesome and saintly and pious. Purely because of his love.
These past few weeks, I've really been enjoying the respite from chemo treatments. It's great to know my body is starting to recover instead of being beat down by the drugs. It's been so nice not being poked by various needles several times a week.
In the last week, we braved the crowds and took in the Chinese New Year parade in Chinatown (50,000+ people!). We watched the Lego movie (very good - though Jer and I were both tired and took turns falling asleep). And we had lots and lots of rest time.
This week marks the first week of monitoring in the 2-5 years monitoring required. Yesterday was the blood test. Friday is the CT scan. And I am anxious. What if the levels aren't where they need to be? What if the cancer starts coming back? What if the CT scan shows something else we need to fight? Talking to my friend Gil this weekend, even after 3 years clear, there's still a bit of anxiety before each blood test. His friend who has been clear 20 years still gets a bit antsy, worrying that the cancer will come back.
The good news is the ehealth site shows partial results from the blood tests and the tumour marker is within the normal range finally. Under 8.4 is considered normal and I'm at 6.1. I'd feel better if it was zero, but Jer says that's not how those levels go :) My white blood cells are back to normal meaning my immune system has recovered. Some other aspects of my blood are still a bit off but hopefully will go back to normal pretty soon.
I am still more tired, less energetic and feeling worn down if I try to pack too much into a day. My joints are all a bit painful - when I get up from sitting, I feel like I'm 80 years old the way I creak around. Numbness in fingers hasn't gone away yet.
However, each day I am so thankful for life. I thank God for continuing to carry us through. And I thank God that even when I'm anxious and panicked, He fights for us and watches over us. I need just continue being still.
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord. (Psalm 27:14 NIV)
Thanks for the update, Mel! When will you find out the results from the CT Scan? Praying for you, as always!!!
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