But that is perfect. I feel like these past few months have really reminded me of what an amazing husband I've married. It has opened my eyes to how the romance and true love is in the everyday. It's a given that if he can, he will drive me to and back from appointments and be my support, my shoulder to cry on or the one to get me out of my head with some light-hearted joking. In my weakest moments, Jer has been my rock, taking on the lion's share of work. He does everything without complaining. He never makes me feel bad for the totally inequal distribution of responsibility and stress. In fact, he has gotten most stressed when I try to pitch in around the house and end up tiring myself out. Through thick and thin, sickness and health, easy-to-care-for child or tear-my-hair-out child, my husband's steadiness reminds me again and again how blessed I am.
Ann Voskamp writes beautifully and elegantly in her most recent post:
"The real romantics know that stretchmarks are beauty marks, and that different shaped women fit into the different shapes of men souls, and that real romance is really sacrifice.
... And I have loved you as the hero-of-few-words who has rescued me day in and day out, without any fanfare or flash.
... You have lived and bore the weight of it —- I am far worse than I ever dreamed. And yet you have loved me beyond what I could ever dream. You have lived Gospel to me."
Thank you, my beloved. You bear the full brunt of all the good and bad in me and you love unreservedly.
~~~~~
Update - my CT scan & chest x-Ray went smoothly today. Results on Monday...
I was reading an article in the Atlantic about young cancer patients. I can see some of this right now in my everyday processing. I count myself fortunate in my faith and community which strengthens me beyond what words can properly express. But the fear or recurrence? That is something that is always in the back of my mind.
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